Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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