No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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