Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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