i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
