ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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