she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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