you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
