Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
