This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
