Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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