I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well I can't set my house on fire every night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
