He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
