she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
