Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize