His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
