I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
