I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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