You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
