Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
