PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
