That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
