i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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