Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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