Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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