I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
