I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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