The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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