There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
