People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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