Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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