No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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