Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize