and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We got so high we made milksteak
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
