Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
