oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I party with great urgency now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
