I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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