his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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