Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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