if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
