Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
