He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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