Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
