omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
