I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
