I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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