the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
