Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize