Your face is a jimmy john
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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