so explain again why im purple
no
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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