bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
