dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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