ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
