I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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