oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
