She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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