Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my phone needs a breathalizer
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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