i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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