Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
