so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
