Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
