I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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