All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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