Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
