I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
