That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
