My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
